In on the ground flora.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts.
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
You’re unbeleafable.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
One trick peony.
I beg your garden?
Ants in your plants.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
One more thyme.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
Your good weed for the day.
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
Long thyme no see.
That’s a bit mulch.
I’m kind of a big dill.
Leaf me alone.
I beg your garden?
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Do you know what really bugs me? Insect puns.
I’m very frond of you.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
I’ll never leaf you.
Don’t moss around.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Eat, drink and be rosemary.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
All things must grass.
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.