Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el