I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
Where does a cow hang his best paintings? In a moo-seum, of course.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
When the well-read bird decided to open a restaurant, he named it Red Robin.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
I was going to joke about my broken pencil, but it was pointless.
If art became imprisoned we'd have to Freda art.
The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
I had never seen a horse that white. Perhaps, that is why it is called a mayo-neighs.
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
Wind turbine mechanics and engineers are very fond of the blew color!
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
If you live in a purple-colored house and suddenly all the power goes off, then you should probably check the fuchsia box.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
In the paintball game, I shot a guy thrice. He dyed on impact.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
I was sick, and my whole body turned colorful. The doctor took a look and said that I had a color infection, which is caused by the Crayola virus.s
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
Did you hear about the color bomb?
Yeah it blue up.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies? Pencilvania.
Do black and white count as colors?
It's a gray area.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
My friend was going to a painting competition, so I wished him, "Grey the force be with you".
Having been thrown out of cartoon art school, he was in suspended animation.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.