What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.