Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.