How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!