My friend said that he eats more than his brother.
I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
And as you can see, they were Wright.
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother,Broco Lee.
What are male twins inside a pregnant woman called?
Em-bro-yos.
A lot of people can't understand why Daniel Day Lewis's twin brother Daniel Night Lewis didn't make it in the movies.
That's because the difference between them is night and day.
A man called his twin brother from prison
“Hey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”
My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.
She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.
Their names are Sam and Ella.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna1, Anna2
Twin brothers just had a birthday
One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
and the second one Duplikate.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
My sister wanted to marry the postman
but our parents didn't letter.
My sister prefers taking the stairs, but I always take the elevator. I guess...
we are raised differently.
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
I said maybe.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe?
Mitosis!
My sister just delivered a baby...
I knew she had it in her.
What does your little sibling and Q have in common?
They will always rely on U.
I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.
I yelled out, "Oasis!"
SIBLING PUNS
Who’s the pimple’s favorite sibling?
His cyst-er.
My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
What do you call your sibling’s daughter, who is famous?
Star anise
What do you call a baker whose parents are siblings?
Inbred.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What do you call a kid who wants to cannibalise his siblings?
A munchkin.
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
I was talking to my Mom the other day and she mentioned that none of her sisters needed the vaccine.
Turned out they already had the auntybodies.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta.
I made my mother's French sister angry
Now she's a cross aunt.
I ordered won ton for my large family today.
2000 lbs of soup goes a long way.
Once a year, I take my family on a tour of various nuclear facilities.
While my kids like it, my wife says it’s just a power trip.
I told my family this joke about a goat...
They said it was a baaaaad joke.
I know a family of artists but I am not sure how they make so much money...
Very sketchy people.
My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...
I know where to draw the line.
My family isn't really into pancakes.
We're more of a Waffle House.
My three favorite things are eating my family
and not using commas.
I'm very proud of my family for owning such a musical property.
We live in A flat.
I booked an appointment at the orthopedist for my whole family.
We got joint problems.
For generations every male in my family has made and passed on their dad jokes.
Guess you could call it pop culture.
What do time and space have in common with family?
It's all relative.
I just told my family a pun about bees.
It was so good that everyone gave me hive fives.
My wife said she wants me to consider purchasing a decent telescope for the family to use.
I told her I’d look into it.
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
It’s going to be awkward if Mr. and Mrs. Burr...
ever lose their son Tim in a forest.
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing....
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
Mr. and Mrs. Turner had a baby girl.
They named her Paige, and they just couldn't put her down.
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?
Carolime