I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.