What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."