So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
I asked my Italian grandfather if the rougher parts of Italy were called the spaghetto.
His look was pasty.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
French people give me the crepes.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
What do you call a cat from Italy?
Spacatti.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
French, French Revolution
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.