Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.