What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
My least favourite hue is purple. It's worse than red and blue combined.
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
A mixture of black, white, and red usually refers to a panda who has experienced severe sunburn!
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
Q. What did one artistic colored pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
Who do you call a pig who can paint like a great artist? Pablo PIGcaso.
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Librarians don't like drinking white wine. They prefer the well red ones!
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
What did the arirst say to his friend who was stressed? Don't worry, paintbrush it off.
Why did the girl decide to become an art dealer? Because she wanted more Monet.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
Nice touch.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Car Salesman: And if you don't like this color, we have another one in "Boulder Gray"
Me: Gray isn't very bold to begin with, how did you make it bolder?
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
Who else is a famous barnyard painter?
Pablo PIGcaso
Why didn't the artist replace his kitchen sink? Because he said that if it's not baroque, don't fix it.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I had never seen a horse that white. Perhaps, that is why it is called a mayo-neighs.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
My favorite denim blue jeans just turned brown. I think I will have to call it Dung-arees!
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.
Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Why was the museum curator so good at judging paintings and sculptures? He was talented at art official intelligence.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".