What did the jack-o-lantern say to the psychologist? I'm hollow inside.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
My father-in-law fell into a giant vat of sliced cabbage.
Now he's my father-in-slaw.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Don't fork-get your manners.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
Don't worry, bee happy!