Honey

The Prisoner Has Escaped
The Prisoner Has Escaped A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about s*x. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. A few minutes later the bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again!" he husband rolls over and yells, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Is it me or the nature of money,
That's odd and particularly funny.
But when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
In onions and honey,
That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
If I were a furry bear.
And had a furry tummy.
I'd climb into a honey jar
And make my tummy yummy!
I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny.
But it keeps them on the knife!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
There was a Scotsman named McFee,
who got stung on his balls by a bee,
he made tonnes of money,
by producing lots of honey,
every time he went for a pee.
If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.