Floor

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
The $5000 Desk
The $5000 Desk Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is. “That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper. “$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley. “Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?” The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins there. “Wow, that’s pretty cool,” says Stan. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?” At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop. “Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” wonders Stanley. The desk’s legs slide apart and its drawers drop down.
Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s.
A young whore who came from Lahore
Would lie on a rug on the floor.
In a manner uncanny
She'd wiggle her fanny
And drain your balls dry to the core.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Yo Mama so short when she sneezes she hits her head on the floor.
The Good Samaritan
The Good Samaritan I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, “You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!” She didn’t hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, “You floor your purse on the floor outside outside McDonald’s." "Thank you so much!" She exclaimed. "Where is it?" "I just told you, on the floor outside McDonald’s."
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs more
If only they lived on another floor.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.