Roses are red
Violets are blue
Brown is the color
Of elephant poo.
Roses aren’t red,
Violets are gray,
Ever since I looked at the sun,
It's been a bad day.
There once was a lad from West Philly
Who played basketball and got silly
He fought with some brothers
Which worried his mother
Now he's know as Bel Air's Fresh Prince, Willy
There once was a [person] from [place]
Whose [body part] was [special case].
When [event] would occur,
It would cause [him or her]
To violate [law of time/space]
There once was a colour named orange,
...Damnit.
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
There once was a poet named Bates
Whose limericks were never that great
His first lines weren't bad
But the problem he had
Was he always tried to fit way too many syllables in at the end.
An executive reckless and bitter
Made a fool of himself via Twitter
"Please stop!" they entreated
But in answer he Tweeted
"If I do they'll call me a quitter!"
There once was a man from Peru,
his limericks always end on line two.
There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many!
A man was once offended
By a pun writing contest he entered
He submitted ten
Sure that one would win
But alas no pun in ten did.
There was a young man from Lahore
Whose limericks stopped at line four.
When asked why this was,
He responded, "Because."
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have Alzheimer’s Disease, Cheese on toast.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have five fingers
but tonight you’ll get two.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
What I thought was vaseline
Turned out to be glue!
Roses are red
Grass is greener
I think of you
When I touch my weiner.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m using my hand
But I’m thinking of you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Rhyming is hard
Like I am for you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’ve got genital warts
Soon you will too.
Roses are red
Violets are violet
You can be the cockpit
And I’ll be the pilot.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Porn hub is down
Your wife’s facebook will do.
Roses are red
lemons are sour.
Open your legs
and give me an hour.
Roses are okay
violets are fine.
You be the 6
and I’ll be the 9.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Please keep your flowers,
And your poems too.
Roses are red,
Pizza sauce is too,
I ordered a large one,
I’m not sharing with you.
Roses are red
violets are blue.
I hate poems
even more than I hate you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I hate poetry,
But I am into you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m unoriginal,
This is all I can do.
Roses are red,
Foxes are clever,
I like your butt,
Can I touch it forever?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sorry to say,
I’m not into you.
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