Boyfriend

How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
Grandma and Her Boyfriend
Grandma and Her Boyfriend A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day. She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture. At one point, she looked up and asked:  "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. "The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little girl heard the doorbell ring so she hurried to open the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said: "Hello young lady. Is your grandma home?" The little girl replied: "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."
Now That We're Married...
Now That We're Married... Linda decided to tie the knot with her long time boyfriend, Roy. One evening, after the honeymoon, Linda was was organizing her law books. Her husband was standing nearby watching her. After a long period of silence he finally speaks: "Linda, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit lawyering. You spend so much time in the courtroom. You could probably get a good price for your books." Linda gets this horrified look on her face. Roy says, "Darling, what's wrong?" "For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-husband." "Ex-husband!" he shouts, chagrined. "I didn't know you were married before!!" "I wasn't."
The Mysterious Photo
The Mysterious Photo After a long night buying a foxy woman drinks, Joe took advantage by giving her a ride home. After the walk to the door, the woman asked Joe in for a nightcap... One thing led to another and before you know it, Joe was naked. After making great love, Joe rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, Joe asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer.", she said. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Now Joe was curious and a bit alarmed, was there a husband who will come back? "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly." she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all." she said, nibbling at his ear. "Well, who IS he then?" demanded Joe bewildered. "That's me before the operation." She whispered.
How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow.
What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
A Cannibal For Tea
A Cannibal For Tea Two cannibal friends were sitting together for lunch, sipping their tea. Then one asked the other: "Hey, I heard you and your boyfriend had a big fight last night?" "Yes, that's right." "So how are things between you right now?" "Well... right now..." The cannibal stopped to take a sip of her tea. "Right now I'm letting him stew..."
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
My boyfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two boyfriends.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
Boyfriend: Just because you have your period doesn’t mean you can be so mean.
Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you can be one.
Why was the blondes' belly button sore? Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
My boyfriend broke up with me because he says I'm too 'controlling'.
Funny thing is, I don't remember giving him permission to speak.
My girlfriend told me she will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so too.