Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We should make like your parents and split.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
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