What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
You look like my future ex wife.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Can we still share a netflix account?
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
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