They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
I really like you. So does my wife.
We should make like your parents and split.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
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