Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
How much will $20 get me?
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
You look a lot like my next victim.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
I'd drink your bathwater.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You're the thought that counts!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.