I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
You're the thought that counts!
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
You look a lot like my next victim.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
How hot does your gas oven get?
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
How much will $20 get me?
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
I'd drink your bathwater.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
I dreamt about you. You died.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
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