I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
Are you a human? Just making sure.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
You look a lot like my next victim.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
How much will $20 get me?
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
You're the thought that counts!
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
I'd drink your bathwater.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
Hey baby, you got any diseases? Want some?
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
I dreamt about you. You died.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
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