I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You're the thought that counts!
I'd drink your bathwater.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
I dreamt about you. You died.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
How hot does your gas oven get?
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Hey baby, you got any diseases? Want some?
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
You look a lot like my next victim.
Are you a human? Just making sure.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
How much will $20 get me?
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
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