Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.
Woah! You look like I need a drink.
My fridge is hotter than you.
Are you a fortune cookie?
Because you're always wrong.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
Do you know Santa?
Because you're not what I wanted for Christmas.
Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.
There's something gorgeous about your eyes...
Oh, that's it! It's my reflection.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
I have to say “Hi” to the prettiest girl in the room… can you help me say “Hi” to that girl over there?
Are you a red light because stop.
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone.
Do you have a library card?
So you can check me out?
No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals.
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
Are you from Tennessee?
Because you look inbred.
So how many cats do you have?
If I could rearrange the alphabet...
I'd leave it the way it is.
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
How much does a Polar Bear weigh?
I don't know.
About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Do you like wine?
Because that's all your doing.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?
No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
Are you a fire detector?
Because you're loud and annoying.
Camel called.
He wants his toe back.
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper.
Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won't do it.
You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning...
Why, because I'm so sweet?
No, because you're really fat.
What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
Are you a computer technician?
Because you turn my hardware into software.
Except the direction I'm walking in.
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are you a tree?
No.
Are you a cigarette?
Because when I'm done with your butt I'm gonna throw it away.
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