Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
We're donion rings.
"It's not me, it's you!"
"You deserve better and so do I."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
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