We should make like your parents and split.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
You are so right. And I am so left.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
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