"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
"It's not me, it's you!"
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
We're donion rings.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"My cat doesn't like you."
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
You are so right. And I am so left.
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