If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
I think we need to become better strangers.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
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