Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
I think we need to become better strangers.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
We're donion rings.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
"It's not me, it's you!"
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
You look like my future ex wife.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Go to BabaMail
