Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
We should make like your parents and split.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
I think we need to become better strangers.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
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