I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Can we still share a netflix account?
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
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