I think we need to become better strangers.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"You deserve better and so do I."
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
"My cat doesn't like you."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.