Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
"It's not me, it's you!"
We should make like your parents and split.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!