I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
"My cat doesn't like you."
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
I think we need to become better strangers.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Can we still share a netflix account?
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
You look like my future ex wife.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
"You deserve better and so do I."
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
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