We should make like your parents and split.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"You deserve better and so do I."
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Can we still share a netflix account?
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"It's not me, it's you!"
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
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