"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
You looked better when I was drunk.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
I really like you. So does my wife.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
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