"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
We should make like your parents and split.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
"You deserve better and so do I."
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Can we still share a netflix account?
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
We're donion rings.
I really like you. So does my wife.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
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