I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
You look like my future ex wife.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I think we need to become better strangers.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
We're donion rings.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"My cat doesn't like you."
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
We should make like your parents and split.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
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