Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
You look like my future ex wife.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
I think we need to become better strangers.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
You looked better when I was drunk.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
We should make like your parents and split.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"You deserve better and so do I."
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