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organs Jokes

organs Jokes and more.
Peach Puns
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
Chemistry Puns
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Crow Puns
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Monster Puns
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Mouth Puns
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Orange Puns
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
One Liners for Kids
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Meat Puns
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Brain Puns
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Quotes
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
Good Morning Quotes
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
— Robert Frost
Romantic Pick Up Lines
I'm no organ donor, but I'd be happy to give you my heart.
Lettuce Puns
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
Flower Pick Up Lines
Hi there, I heard you were looking for something locally grown? How about some organic and 100% locally grown companion?
Fog Puns
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.

He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Mushroom Puns
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
The Wrong Answer
Mr. Jacobs, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Arnold, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions." Miss Arnold gasped, then said coldly, "Mr. Jacobs, I don't think that is an appropriate question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this!" With that she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Jacobs called on Miss Jones, another student, and asked the same question. Miss Jones, with composure, replied: "That would be the pupil of the eye, under conditions of dim light." "Correct," said Mr. Jacobs. "And now, Miss Arnold, I have three things to say to you: One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three... you will someday be faced with dreadful disappointment."
Clever Jokes
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
Music Jokes
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Panda Puns
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.

What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
Lobster Puns
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
The Confident Four
At NC State University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time. However, after all the hard-partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Raleigh until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to return Sunday to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The gals were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in her separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: 'For 95 points: Which of your tires was flat?'
You Better Not Laugh...
The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor. "In front of you?" He asks shyly. The nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen a naked human body before. The man said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body." "Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.” "Okay then," said the patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life. In length and girth, it was almost identical to an AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very bad that she had laughed at the man's private parts, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Bob replied. She ran out of the room.
Chocolate Puns
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
Weather Puns
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Goat Puns
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
Funny Work Quotes
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
The Chinese Doctor
While in China, an American single man acts promiscuous and does not use protection the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his... swimsuit area... covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. After two days, the doctor tells him, “I’ve got bad news for you, you have contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US. We know very little about it." The man perplexed asks, "Well, can’t you give me a shot or something to fix me up, Doc?" The doctor answers, "I’m sorry, there's no known cure. We are going to have to amputate." "Wait... WHAT?!" The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!" The doctor replies, "Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option.” The man shops around, going to many doctors and experts, but they all tell him the same, they must remove the organ. At some point a friend tells him, "You contracted this in China right? Then why not go to a CHINESE doctor?" The man, having not thought of that, seeks out a Chinese doctor in the hopes he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines the problematic area and proclaims, "Ahh... yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease." The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my organ!" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American docttahs, always want operate, make more money that way. No need to amputate!" "Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims. "Yes yes,” says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself."
The Generous Lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer continues, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "-or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to YOU??"
Onion Puns
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Medical Pick Up Lines
I'm no organ donor, but I'd be happy to give you my heart.
Water Puns
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Heart Puns
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Wifi Puns
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Now That We're Married...
Linda decided to tie the knot with her long time boyfriend, Roy. One evening, after the honeymoon, Linda was was organizing her law books. Her husband was standing nearby watching her. After a long period of silence he finally speaks: "Linda, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit lawyering. You spend so much time in the courtroom. You could probably get a good price for your books." Linda gets this horrified look on her face. Roy says, "Darling, what's wrong?" "For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-husband." "Ex-husband!" he shouts, chagrined. "I didn't know you were married before!!" "I wasn't."
Puns
Why are eyes always the last organ harvested?
because they dilate.
Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body?
Because they are well organized.
Biology Puns
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
Skeleton Puns
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
Mouse Puns
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Can he have this?” With first baby: “Is it organic and homemade?” After second baby: “He can have anything except narcotics and alcohol.” - Unknown
Piano Puns
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
Funny Love Quotes
"Oh, here's an idea: Let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all." - Jimmy Fallon
Music Puns
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
The European Afterlife
European Heaven is where: All the cops are British, All the wine is French, All the cars are German, All the lovers are Italian, The weather is Greek, And everything is organized by the Swiss. European Hell is where: All the cops are French, All the wine is German, All the cars are Greek, All the lovers are Swiss, The weather is British, And everything is organized by the Italians.
My Beer Is Better
At a World Brewing Convention in the United States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conferencing. Bruce, the boss of Fosters, shouted to the barman, 'in 'Strailya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, cobber.' Rob, chief of Budweiser, calls out, 'In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all. Give me a pint of Bud.' Hans steps up next, 'In Germany we invented beer. Give me a Beck's, the real king of beers.' Up steps Dutchman Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, who states that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top. Patrick, the CEO of Guinness, steps forward. 'Barman, give me a coke with ice please.' The other four stare at him in stunned silence with amazement written all over their faces. Eventually, Bruce asks, 'Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?' Patrick replies, 'Well, if you lot aren't drinking, then neither am I.'
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Do you prefer organic or local? Because I’m both.
Food Pick Up Lines
I think we'd grow a great organic garden together.
I'm local, all natural, homemade and certified organic: wanna taste?