"The easiest time to fall asleep is just after turning off the alarm clock."
"My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door."
— Willie Geist
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
— William Feather
"I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee."
– Terri Guillemets
“She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.”
– Richelle Mead
"People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it."
“Good morning world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world."
— E. B. White
"Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read."
– Raymond Carver
"Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness."
— Nanea Hoffman
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
— Terry Pratchett
"When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.”
— Crystal Woods
"I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
— Lewis Black
“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”
"It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning."
— H.G. Wells
"I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom."
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.”
— Marlo Thomas
“Good Morning! Open your mouth wide! I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!”
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
— Robert Heinlein
"In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
— J.R.R. Tolkien
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
– Leah Hager Cohen
“Help…I’ve ran out of weekend!”
“I was beautiful, rich, sexy… and then the alarm rang! Good Morning!”
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.”
– Mickey Nice
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
— Punit Ghadge
"Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well."
"Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it." — Richard Whately
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.”
— Moss Hart
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…”
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
— Jim Davis
"I can rise and shine, just not at the same time."
"I always write “Wake Up” on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day."
"Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing."
“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
— Marty Rubin
“Luckily, today has been canceled. Go back to bed.”
“Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.”
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
— Tony Smite
“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
— James Lileks
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
— Jean Kerr
"I always say “Morning” instead of “Good Morning”. If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people."
“Why can’t the morning news ever say ‘Today has been canceled, now go back to sleep.”
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
“I need to get up; my coffee needs me.”
"I hate mornings, they start so early."
— Janet Evanovich
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
— James Marsden
"The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me."
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler