Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el