This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
Irish I had better jokes.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
I love when you coddle me.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Dublin over in laughter.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
In Ireland, I call the shots.