When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
What did the first plate say to the second plate?
"Dinner's on me!"
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
I was going to replace the seats at my bar
But... I just can't look at another stool sample
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
What do you call a chair in a suit?
A tuxSEATo
My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
I couldn't chair less!
What happens when a closet goes into fighting?
It turns into a wardrobe.
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"