Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
I ride share to work regularly, but if I'm in the backseat when we go through a tunnel I have a massive anxiety attack.
My doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Me: "And?"
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
A guy walks into the doctors office complaining of rectal pain, upon examination, the doctor exclaims "Buddy, theres a piece of lettuce coming out of your butt!"
The guy looks to the doctor and says "thats only the tip of the iceburg!"
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
MedEx
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
Why was the doctor so paranoid?
He worked in the ICU.