The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
What do you call someone who owns a boat dealership?
A Sailsmen.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.