“I’m a typical Capricorn. I’m hardworking, loyal, sometimes stubborn, and I don’t believe in astrology.”
— Jonah Peretti
“Cancers are Moonchildren; totally influenced by the waxing and waning cycles of the Moon. Asking them to remain in one feeling, one mood, or one state of mind is pure insanity.”
— Sherene Schostak
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Sir Norman Wisdom
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mahatma Ghandi
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Buddy Hackett
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
— Clifton Fadiman
“I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.”
Unknown
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."
From a runner's T-shirt
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
"Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes."
- Melanie White
"My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan." — Leopold Fetchner
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner." – Ben Bergor
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"How many Taureans does it take to change a lamp? None. Taureans don't like to change anything."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"My mom used to say it doesn’t matter how many kids you have… because one kid will take up 100% of your time so more kids can’t possibly take up more than 100% of your time." - Karen Brown
“Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.”
—Yoko Ono
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’”
— Cookie Monster
"Don't make love by the garden gate - love is blind, but the neighbours ain't." - Anonymous
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental facility.”
— Unknown
“Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.”
— Unknown
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.”
Chris Rock
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Cauliflower is a cabbage with a college education.”
— Mark Twain
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
Go to BabaMail
