“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.”
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
Go to BabaMail
