"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.”
– Oscar Wilde
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth