"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”