"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."