"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
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