“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho