"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
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