"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns