“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
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