"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
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