“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
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