"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
and may they always be."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles