“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern