Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
We're donion rings.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
You look like my future ex wife.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
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