It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
I think we need to become better strangers.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
"You deserve better and so do I."
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
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