If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
We should make like your parents and split.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
"It's not me, it's you!"
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Let’s make like a banana and split.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
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