My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
You are so right. And I am so left.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
You look like my future ex wife.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
We should make like your parents and split.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
I really like you. So does my wife.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
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