Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
We're donion rings.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
We should make like your parents and split.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
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