"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
"It's not me, it's you!"
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
You looked better when I was drunk.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
"My cat doesn't like you."
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