You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
"My cat doesn't like you."
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.