Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
"It's not me, it's you!"
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
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