I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
We should make like your parents and split.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
We're donion rings.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
"You deserve better and so do I."
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….