Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.