It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
"My cat doesn't like you."
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
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