"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
I really like you. So does my wife.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
We're donion rings.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"You deserve better and so do I."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
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