There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
"It's not me, it's you!"
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"My cat doesn't like you."
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
You look like my future ex wife.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
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