Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"My cat doesn't like you."
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
We're donion rings.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."