Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
We're donion rings.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
You are so right. And I am so left.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
You look like my future ex wife.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
I really like you. So does my wife.