"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
I really like you. So does my wife.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"My cat doesn't like you."
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
I think we need to become better strangers.
You look like my future ex wife.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
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