Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"You deserve better and so do I."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"My cat doesn't like you."
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
You looked better when I was drunk.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
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