I'm not gay but I'll learn.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
I really like you. So does my wife.
"You deserve better and so do I."
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
I think we need to become better strangers.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
I think we need to become better strangers.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
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