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calories in carrots Jokes

calories in carrots Jokes and more.
Air Travel Quotes
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
Funny Health Quotes
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."

- Christiaan Barnard
Food Poems
Roses are red, I’m not wearing a suit,
Carrots are not vegetables, they are actually fruit.
Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry:
Weed make a swell pear.
Turkey Puns
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Yard Puns
Two snowmen were standing in a yard. One asked the other, "Do you smell carrot?" The other snowman replied, "No, but I can taste coal."
Orange Puns
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
Soup Puns
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
Easter Puns
"Just don't carrot all."
"I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny."
"You might not carrot all, but you're irresistible."
Garden Quotes
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
Sports Pick Up Lines
I know a fun activity that can burn 500 calories an hour...
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” —Jim Davis
Food Quotes
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
Ear Puns
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
Salad Puns
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Horse Puns
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Snow Puns
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?

Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Funny Yoga Quotes
“I only go to yoga to drink wine, so I’m good. I just throw the calories right back in.” – Kaley Cuoco
Rabbit Puns
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Corny Jokes
Me: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.
Friend: How?
Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.
The Old Woman and the Shopkeeper
An elderly woman visited a store that sold jade and requested seven kilograms of potatoes. The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with. The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped in a similar manner. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else. The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots. "Let me guess," said the owner with a sour face, "you want them wrapped individually." "Oh, that would be grand." she said. The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag. The woman then asked: "What are in those crates behind you?" The man flushed red and said "Madam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!"
Otter Puns
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Color Puns
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
Winter Puns
Everyone teased the snowman for having a pointy nose, but he didn’t carrot all.
Bat Puns
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Alien Puns
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Pea Puns
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Toaster Puns
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Cat Puns
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Space Puns
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Funny Love Poems
Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry:
Weed make a swell pear.
Parrot Puns
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Food puns
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Funny Running Quotes
"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
Don Kardong
One Liners for Kids
Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Zombie Puns
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Lettuce Puns
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
Banana puns
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Dinosaur Puns
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Vegetable Puns
Keep calm and carrot on.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
One Liners and Short Jokes
What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A Rabbit's flatulence.
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?