"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."
Gene Thibeault
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.” – Unknown
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
Franklin Jones
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
"Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."
From a runner's T-shirt
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
Rita Rudner
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
Marty Stern
"Life is short. Running makes it seem longer."
Baron Hansen
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
"Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first."
From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
Don Kardong
"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."
Victoria Wood
"I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster."
Robin Williams
"Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run."
Unknown
“I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor
"Run like you stole something."
Unknown
"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."
P.Z. Pearce
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
Jimmy Fallon
"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
Bill Kirby
"If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal."
Rob de Castella
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.” – Amanda Brooks
"I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street."
Neil Armstrong
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
"Run like hell and get the agony over with."
Clarence DeMar
"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
Wendy Liebman
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."
Mike Royko
"Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."
Unknown
Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
"Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you."
From the back of a T-shirt
"Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one."
Unknown
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
"No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."
Don Kardong
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
William James
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