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Dirty Short Jokes
First we lived in kingdoms run by Kings, then Empires run by Emperors
Now we live in Countries...
Zebra Puns
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
Toucan Puns
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
Pear Puns
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Mango Puns
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
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