A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”
I cut down a tree in my yard, but I don't know what to do next.
I'm stumped!
Can you explain why your neighbor’s yard is so messy and overgrown?
“We’d never.”
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
I was walking by a yard sale the other day.
I saw a radio for $1. The volume dial was broken but I knew I couldn’t turn that down.
My chickens escaped and over my yard...
I wasn't expecting the coop d'etat.
What type of underwear does a yard wear?
Lawngerie.
I was trying to reshape the border of my backyard when my neighbors' fence fell over...
Wrong post.
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.