Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it:
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Guy: "Whats the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: OMG, and the good news?
Doc: You now have a tic tac toe.
2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing.
Haven't heard from him since then.
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?
Eggsray.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Me: "And?"
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
MedEx